Hi, it's me, the creator of this blog. Also the one that writes this blog source code from scratch. It really is been a while.

What happened, you asked? Simple. I got a job. A good job that pays well. A job that allows me to fulfil both my worldly desires, and my career as 社畜. That sounds pretty good? I'd say that it is pretty good. Though, it always has it upsides and downsides. And the decision to start writing again kinda resurfaced after some of the hardships that I had been through for the past months. But it's normal, right? If one's life is always at the top, idk, some might say that it's desirable, it's good for your development, yada yada yada. But honestly, I just want a carefree live. Which is nonexistent until I manage to escape the matrix. But how does that even work? Such the limitation I have in this life.

But again, living the current life I'm living, it's not always sunshine and rainbows, y'know. Currently I'm in the super mega ultra extremely massive level of stress that I'm in the brink of losing it. And maybe because it was all my fault. Just me with my slowly developing self that trying to accept the misery of living as a 大人. It's hard. And also makes you wanna give up so many times. But hey, being money-less is even worse than the depression, so I'd rather have money then being depressed than having no money and turned depressed later on. Truly, the proverb "money can't buy happiness", is entirely false. If you even by having money that you cant be happy, being poor is even more so. So yeah, I'd prefer my life in the grasp of pursuing what capitalism has set in this world.

But enough of that, lets talk about what the other part of this post that I want to talk about. One said that ramblings can only go so far and it's up to yourself to take action for your own future.

This Blog, Onwards...

In a way, I want to turn this blog into something not so techy. In all honesty, having to work and handling not-so-focused tasks is kinda tiring mentally. It just too much to take and to handle that I don't feel like able to improve a particular skillset. Truly the curse of being jack of all trade.

But what happened the worse is that I was being hesitant to be myself as I was too focused on everyone's expectation. I swear, being a people pleaser really messes you up. And with the recent reception of my performance review, I don't think that I want to become a people pleaser anymore. I want to just please myself first, then go to people around me. I think that's fair.

In response to that, I want this blog to be more of about myself. After all, it's a personal blog. This blog is not associated to any instance or even represent anything related to my job, position, community, or whatever. It's just me and me, and probably, with my acquaintances, which are probably another version of me. After all, I don't want to stuck with just coding, haha. It's awesome, but there will be a time where I will change course.

So, I will start into turning this blog into somewhere where I can post for about these things.

Personal Thoughts

I mean, it's my personal blog. It should be a place where I am able to express my opinions, feelings, and stuff. Though, I am fully aware that this is a public thingy, where people can just, y'know, see my stuff, I believe that no one would read this anyway, haha. If you read this, hit me up over my social media, and I'll award you.

But yeah, things about what I'm doing irl, what I'm doing in general, and what I'm thinking on it, should fall under this category. And I believe it could serve as a good recording of how I'm developing over the time.

In short, it will become a more personalized blog. Brace yourself... myself.

Creator Space

Thorough the years, I am slowly becoming a content creator. The amount of drawings I did is adding every single week, and I believe that publishing your creation is one way to put respect to yourself. Some things are bound to be posted in a special place/space, but those that I think could fall under this category should be fine. I might just post tutorials or some thoughts, and I think that's already good. Sometimes, you need to appreciate not only yourself, but people around you.

Short "Social Media"-ish Post

I want to really just be able to post a random stuff then just disappear. This is much like how tumblr was, where one would post a really trivial thing then just forget. In a way, it's a "microblog" and I'm turning this place into it. It's a shame seeing the thing just being here without anyone (even me) tending to it.

And so...

I am really trying to improve myself, and keeping myself strong. Like I really am.

Living alone, in the midst of big city like Jakarta, is hard. I'm already in my one-fourth of a century of living in this world, and internalizing everything, from what I've learned, is bad. Screw those that would go "you're a weak man". It's my life, after all.

Shout out to those that able to fight and stay strong. Life in the big cities, small cities, everywhere even, should be turned into an eventful life. And I think, having total control, is a great mindset and goal, for one to be able to move and direct oneself to whatever one desires.

The very first ever post of this blog is ended with a cute anime picture, so I will rekindle that "tradition" again.

Have this pic of "Mare S. Ephemeral". And please, play 星空のメモリア -wish upon a shooting star-

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There will be awesome contents here

Ramblings and New Direction for This Blog of Mine