Today I received an email about my business title, like a role title, is being changed to "better reflect my current role". It's changed from "Software Engineer (DevOps)" into "Associate Software Engineer". While it perfectly captures my current role and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, it made feel sad. It is on the matter of whether I am going to get somewhere with the current progress, especially when comparing myself to my peers back from the college.

I do feel that it's a direct consequence of working somewhere that is already going on an enterprise scale, where the term "fast-pacing" does not apply to your career. This means that, the pressure is still high, the deliverables still high, but often doesn't come with proper appreciation. Writing that, I feel some sort of resentment. Maybe towards the fact that the appreciation doesn't come to us the infra guy, the guys that works behind the scene. We don't really have many chance to "showcase" ourselves in the way that the higher ups would notice us. And this leads to the possible stagnation. And it's real.

Previously, I wrote a rambling post regarding my spirit to 転職, which can be read here. It was done in a cryptic manner because apparently my coworkers are also reading my stuff, but hey, if you read this now, I just want to come clear. I want to become "something" in 2026, and that includes about my career. My performance review indicates that I'll go nowhere for the next result, and it gave me a big signal that it's pointless to try.

It's also unfair that the product team is getting all the glory, with the recent info I got from my coworker that the people in the product teams, that joined later than me, from the bootcamp, were promoted already, so that they're basically are now my seniors in the career ladder. It's just sad and frustrating. I felt like I want to blow this pent up somewhere that is almost physical. But I know that it's pointless anyway. Which is probably why the trend of people only work for at least 3 or 4 years before moving out somewhere is really strong here. My friends are now going overseas, and while I am grateful for the salary and benefits this place is giving me, it felt really short. I know I can do better, I know I can go farther. The current environment does support me so well in my living, but it's not sustainable as I grow older.

Now I think the motivation really goes to just work as needed and not really trying to get the spotlight. I have made up my mind that at least in 2027 I'll be at somewhere better. The Japan dream is still strong, but now, after multiple times that the fire died out, then rekindled, then died out again, the screaming "Associate" part of my new title will probably be the strongest fire I'll be having for the next one year.

A lot of things started in 2026, and I think it's going to get even crazier. All I can do is to adapt and to push myself.

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Resentment