Alright... so what the hell is wrong with the title and the description? Ehehehehe...

Basically I am really going to end my "day" with a lot of giggles because I just spent the best 100k IDR in this month. Today is payday, and although 70% of it just evaporated in less than a day, the 100k IDR portion is probably the thing that makes me feel happy after all the "sorrow" I felt before. First it was because of my bad financial decision 2 months ago that made the domino effect up to this day, but I hope that it finally ended. I hope that I'll finally reach the zero sum and starts building funds for more important things. At least, I now have PC, which is a real source of happiness, and hopefully THR and bonus would cover things up better again.

So what is about the 100k IDR that overcomes all the other things? Well... it's really a simple superchat, a sign of admiration and support towards your favorite streamer, and in turn you got your message read and be reacted (if you're lucky). I am not seeking for weird attention or validations or even the so-called "parasocial relationship" but I just want like... a simple sign that what I did is recognized. I might be seeking for recognition, which is just another word for attention, but at least it's just like a simple "notice" that "I am exist". And I got even better response which is 予想以外. I am happy, and I am blessed. It kinda fill me with more determination to draw better and actually give my oshi the present. CF22 is less than 3 months away, and I'll really need to take pace.

Today was mostly finishing some leftover tasks and shopping. I spent 700k IDR on grocery, which should had been around 500k if not because of the big ass durian. I mean, I love durian :D. But after that I forgot that today was the Wednesday, which is the weekly hangout session in the community. Had great time, so I went back with a pretty great mood. I had not so great Apex session because of packet loss, but at least I'm in silver rank now. And I vastly improved Denpa Radio. I feel like today is a pretty good day. So, closing it with the superchat and getting such a warm response is such a pleasing thing to have and I want to close it.

I'll close this with Kuzunoha because I didn't find any good Kisaki pics without diving too deep. Also Kuzunoha hmm... she must be at least... like 300 years old or 3000 years old. Please be ancient.

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日記#39: Ehe... hehehe